I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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