Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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