He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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