You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
