We're like a lot better than the average bears
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
