what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
