I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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