Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
