dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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