Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
