i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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