Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Randomize
