i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
