we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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