My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
