She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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