i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
