i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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