WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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