I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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