I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
