If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
