I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
