she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
