High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
