Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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