i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
