HIV tests are more positive than that guy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
