Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
