His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
