I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
