You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
