Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
