i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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