dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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