My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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