who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
