a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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