Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
