I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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