Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
