their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
