so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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