It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
