2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
