I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
