Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
