Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
