I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
As shirtless as possible
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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