I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
