If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
