New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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